XTD: Ithaca Festival

June's XTD (eXcuse To Drink) comes early in the month, in the form of a road trip tomorrow to the Ithaca Festival, in New York. We rented one of those pearl white pimpmobile Chrysler 300's, and I think I almost have Girlfriend and Gay Friend convinced they have to wear Huggy Bear hats and use a pimped-out walking stick to go from gas pump to convenience store, at least on the trip in. Cross your fingers.

I've never been to Ithacafest, but from what I understand, it's all local artisans, local music, and local food. The hyperbolic descriptions worked up by some Chamber of Commerce flak on the festival's website include a line touting "the best BBQ you've ever tasted," which I'm guessing is a desperate attempt to win over the influx of tourists from South Carolina and Georgia who I'm sure stream up to New England in ever-greater numbers to get away from... uh... warm weather?!?

This trip is prime XTD not only because we're two states away from home when anything unlawful occurs, but because Gay Friend is along. We can get away with asking women anything now, because once they know he's gay, the guard comes down.

"Are those real? Oh, let me check!"

"Is that a thong or ass floss, sweetie?"

"What am I doing? Just out looking to get LAID, dear!"

I say any of that shit to a straight chick, I get ignored at best, slapped at worst. Gay Friend says it, the girl's buying Cosmo's all around. I love it.


Sidebar: Movie Nudity Alert

X-Men 3/The Last Stand/Whatever The Hell It's Called is a decent action flick; I'm not a comic dude, so all you geeks can slam your puds all over the message boards about that shit for all I care. Like it or hate it, though, the movie has one awesome scene in which mutant Rebecca Romijn is turned back into a normal human, lying naked and sprawled on the floor of a truck. Incredible. I don't have a screen cap for it, but if I did it would look something like.... this....